The cost of words

I've been thinking a lot about the cost of words. It mostly came because I was listening to this song, Talk is Cheap and somewhere in the weirdness of my brain I began singing "words are cheap" in my head, then I had to stop and go wait, what? 

(Sorry, my mind is stupid and weird sometimes.)

So now I have this thought in my head, words are cheap. And I've been thinking about whether or not that's true or not, because as a writer I think it's pretty important to know. 

Let's talk about actual monetary value first. First time authors are paid roughly $10,000, and for an average 60,000 word book that's about 16 cents a word. Not bad, all things considered. Of course, you can get paid more or less depending on how well-known you are, and the length of the book changes the outcome as well but it's not a bad estimation. 

Words have an energy investment, too. I'm a major introvert, and holding a conversation with someone drains my energy. I enjoy talking to people, but after a few hours at work or school I need a few hours to recharge. That's not the situation for everyone, of course. Some people recharge by talking to other people (the monsters! How do they survive?), so in that case words are cheap because it doesn't cost them much energy to talk. 

The biggest cost to words, in my opinion, is the emotional investment. Every time I open my mouth or type words on this screen thingy that you're staring at, I allow you into my soul. There are different degrees to it, of course, and I obviously don't allow you into the deepest, darkest layers of my soul every Tuesday and Friday. (I believe we're all happy about this, because the lowest layer of my soul is quite weird and dark and sticky and occasionally sweet and light, and we don't need to trek down there all the time. (Plus there's an embarrassing amount of Spider-Man fan fiction hidden away.)) However, whenever I do share something that's a bit deeper it costs me an emotional investment. It takes courage to share some things. 

The weird thing is that for me, at least, talk costs more than words. If you asked me about something that I cared deeply about in real life, like the representation of women in the media, Christianity, Artemis Fowl, writing, environmental issues, etc. then I could probably tell you two or three things about it then fall silent. But if I could write about it? Well, I've written several books about imaginary people who only exist in my head. Written words cost so much less than talk. Whenever I open my mouth my words fail and crumple in on themselves, like a snowflake that lands on someone's tongue and melts. On the other hand, when my fingers poise over the keyboard they just can't stop dancing across the black and white keys. Somehow the wire between my brain and my mouth was transferred to my fingers. 

I realise that for other people, it's the opposite way. Some people can talk all day, their words never racking up a bill at the bank while I'm left behind, dragging my wheelbarrow of cash to pay for my debts. For some people, words deposit, not subtract, and I would like to pass my congratulations onto you. 

For me, talk isn't cheap. Talk is expensive. Talk, even shallow talk, empties the fridge and leaves nothing left for supper. I can't afford deep talk, I can't afford to be bankrupt and have nothing left in the pantry. But written words bypass the bank and I can go deeper for longer without having to stop, gasping for breath. I can write about heartbreak and anxiety for hours and hours while a half hour conversation about someone's weekend will drain my college fund. 

Words aren't cheap, they never have been. Neither is talk. Some things just cost more than others. 

Which is more expensive for you, written words or talk?