Queer Eye and how the patriarchy screws men over (also an apology)
I talk (probably way too much) about the way the media screws women over with the patriarchy, but not so much with how the media also screws over men. Men are big and tough and are emotionless (except for anger or something). Women are small and fragile and full of emotion. I have done multiple blog posts on this (and I should probably stop at some point to be honest).
I am going somewhere with this, I promise.
I've had a few friends recommend Queer Eye to me, so now that I'm on holidays I've finally sat down and watched it. First of all, fantastic show. I'm almost through the first season and while I usually don't do makeover shows I absolutely love this one. (Mostly because it's not just clothes and hair, but this group of five gay guys take a look at the makeover-ee's house, diet, "culture" (AKA a free therapy lesson) as well as hair and clothes. It is freaking amazing.)
One of my favourite episodes (can't remember which one for the life of me and I'm too lazy to go check) features the hosts telling the makeover-ee that he's a beautiful, incredibly strong and inspirational man. The dude started crying. He said no one had told him that in a very long time and that he really needed to hear it.
Um, what?
This episode forced me to think about how the patriarchy is screwing not only women over, but men as well. Why on earth are we not telling men that they're beautiful as well? Why is it socially acceptable for me to tell a woman that she's strong and kind and beautiful but I could never say that to a man? Everyone needs to hear it, the end.
So to all the guys out there, I'm sorry that we live in a world that doesn't tell you what you need to hear. I'm sorry that I've been a part of the culture that puts men down because they're not 'manly' enough, that I've insulted you because I accepted the culture I live in. You are worthy. You are smart, you are hard-working. You deserve the world. And you are beautiful.
I am going somewhere with this, I promise.
I've had a few friends recommend Queer Eye to me, so now that I'm on holidays I've finally sat down and watched it. First of all, fantastic show. I'm almost through the first season and while I usually don't do makeover shows I absolutely love this one. (Mostly because it's not just clothes and hair, but this group of five gay guys take a look at the makeover-ee's house, diet, "culture" (AKA a free therapy lesson) as well as hair and clothes. It is freaking amazing.)
One of my favourite episodes (can't remember which one for the life of me and I'm too lazy to go check) features the hosts telling the makeover-ee that he's a beautiful, incredibly strong and inspirational man. The dude started crying. He said no one had told him that in a very long time and that he really needed to hear it.
Um, what?
This episode forced me to think about how the patriarchy is screwing not only women over, but men as well. Why on earth are we not telling men that they're beautiful as well? Why is it socially acceptable for me to tell a woman that she's strong and kind and beautiful but I could never say that to a man? Everyone needs to hear it, the end.
So to all the guys out there, I'm sorry that we live in a world that doesn't tell you what you need to hear. I'm sorry that I've been a part of the culture that puts men down because they're not 'manly' enough, that I've insulted you because I accepted the culture I live in. You are worthy. You are smart, you are hard-working. You deserve the world. And you are beautiful.
Here! Here! That's the one thing I don't like about today's feminism. We just talk about women and how they've been wronged, but it's not a picnic in the park for men either. We forget that not all men are what most people consider "masculine," and that there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes they might need someone to tell them that they don't have to be, that the expectations are all wrong. Nobody can be this immovable rock that the media likes to portrait the "perfect" man to be. Women are humans. Men are humans. All humans need encouragement and support. And I do think that everybody needs encouragement and support in different way, about different things in their life, but I think that difference should be gauged on an individual basis instead of a gender basis.
ReplyDeleteA great post as always.
*high fives* I understand why we mostly talk about women, across the board women tend to be oppressed more but yes, men need to be included in the conversation. We can no longer hold men to an impossible standard of masculinity. And YES! I love what you said, that men are humans and women are humans and we don't need such a strict binary of masculine and feminine, especially when it's harmful.
DeleteThank you so much for your thoughtful comment Ashley :)
We live in a very masculine orientated world. This effects both men and women. I think a lot more men need to be in touch with their feminine side. They need to understand that telling your mates how awesome or beautiful they are doesn't comprise their masculinity. It should be encouraged and Queer Eye is a great show for that :)
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! It's so sad when men feel like they can't be feminine because I think a lot of 'feminine energy' is really great for relationships and society as a whole (ie like you said, letting your friends know how awesome/beautiful they are, or taking care of other people). Queer Eye is really breaking down those boundaries and I love the show for that.
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