Thursday, 3 September 2015

Bonus Post: How to survive the apocalypse

The end is coming, one way or the other. Whether we come to a sticky end via zombies, giant aliens coming out of the Pacific Ocean or something more realistic like a shortage of fossil fuels, something will eventually happen. Maybe. Hollywood would like us to believe so, anyways. So, when (if) the end eventually does come, here's how you can survive it. (And note that all of my experiences with the apocalypse come from movies (and a little bit from Marcia).)


I'm not sure I would want to be living in those huts at the edges of the water.
 Something tells me it may not be the safest. Source.

1) Identify type of apocalypse. This could be very important. Are you battling angry zombies who have a shortage of breath mints or a tsunami? You'll have very different types of reactions. If it's a real world issue (in other words, not vampires) I would watch Doomsday Preppers (both for laughs and for preparation) and for a zombie apocalypse, well, Hollywood has got you covered. (If a vampire apocalypse, though, I would simply get a skylight.) 

2) Get food and water. This is so you don't die of starvation and dehydration. (Obviously.) I would suggest filling up your bathtub with water, if you're staying at home. (And if you live in a city, I wouldn't suggest staying where you are. The aliens always seem to launch their full-scale attacks on the cities.)

3) Get somewhere remote. Continuing on from point number one, the aliens/zombies/vampires/cranks/whatever cannot find you if you live in the middle of nowhere!

4) Set up fort. I don't know, if you can find somewhere like the maze from The Maze Runner, that would be ideal. How many cranks ever got into the maze, I ask? Find somewhere secure and settle down. 

4) Get your weapons of choice. If this is a movie, there's going to be a fight one way or another. My suggestions? 

-Crossbow
-Javelins
-Guns of various types
-Chainsaws
-Kryptonite
-Flamethrowers

(My brother was very helpful for brainstorming weapon ideas, for some reason.)

5) Wait it out. Or do something heroic and save the world. Either or, you'll hopefully survive. 

And that's my advice! I'm not sure how reliable it is, though, because I've always said that if I was in an apocalypse movie that I'd be one of the first ones to get run over by the alien war ships. 

Do you have any apocalypse survival tips? And would you rather face an apocalypse via zombies or shortage of fossil fuels? (And by shortage I mean there's none left at all.)

6 comments:

  1. "I've always said that if I was in an apocalypse movie that I'd be one of the first ones to get run over by the alien war ships." You and me both, sistah.

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    1. Hahaha, yeah. I have very little hope of surviving the apocalypse. *high fives* We can get run over together. Thanks for commenting, Victoria!

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  2. I think I would rather face a zombie apocalypse--I'm a writer, I'd just call it research. I would definitely follow your advice and seek out a secluded place, which I would fortify. I'd throw in a couple dozen skylights just in case, but I'd reinforce them so the zombies couldn't smash the glass and climb through. But yeah, definitely avoid cities--those are the best targets for invaders. They won't care so much about people way, way out. I think I'd convert my entire basement into a food storage unit with 50 gallon drums of water. Also, I would make sure to buy at least a thousand more books--because a shortage of those is worse than a shortage of anything else. :P

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    1. That's brilliant! But I do think the market would get over saturated with zombie stories. Yes, I totally forgot. Forgetting to fortify your skylights would end in your doom. YES!! Seriously, why do people stay in cities during an invasion of some type? The zombies/aliens/vampires/whatever don't have the manpower to go out searching for everyone hiding out in the woods. So many more people could survive!

      Hahaha, I was reading your comment and agreeing with the water and food, but immediately thought that you should have some more books as well. Then you mentioned that you would buy more books :) Great minds think alike.

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  3. I would probably die in an apocalypse. *sighs* But, hopefully if it ever happens, I can call on you for advice (unless, of course, you become a zombie or something unfortunate like that, alas).

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    1. You and I both. I will attempt to give you advice, but I'm assuming that a) there will be no Internet in the apocalypse b) I will be stuck in Oz and c) I will most likely be a zombie of some kind. So good luck to you!

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