Tuesday, 1 December 2015

My complete and total embarrassing incompetence in surfing

When we first moved, Mom wanted us kids to learn to surf. And like, yeah, why not? We moved halfway across the world, we may as well learn what seemed to be the national sport. (It isn't, by the way. It's cricket. (And I thought it was AFL. (Or NRL. Or footy. I STILL CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE, OK? And I would like to say sorry to all the Australians I've just offended, but I just do not get it, nor do I really care. (Did you hear that? That is the sound of every Australian gasping in shock and horror.) (As a side note, do you know what else I don't get? The phrase "fair dinkum". (How Australian is that?) When I ask, they say it means "legit" or "true" or "really" but everyone keeps using it in different contexts and I'm so confused. Anyways.)))(And I have just used so many brackets that I've lost track of them all. I think I may have an obsession.)) 

That quixotic dream soon got buried under mountains of stuff such as homework, movies and books, so we didn't really get to learn to surf. Plus, we live in a part of Queensland where there are no waves. Seriously, the waves we get here on a stormy, rough day are like little splashes in the kiddy pool compared to the waves that Surfer's Paradise/Gold Coast get every day. You can kind of manage to get the occasional wave, but we just don't have great surfing beaches. 



Our other problem is our lack of a surfboard. Actually, this might be the biggest problem. *shrugs* And we don't have a surfboard because we don't have a car that can transport a surfboard. It's kind of not a great system we have going on. 

The final problem to my lack of any surfing skills whatsoever would be that I'm not very good. And yeah, practice makes perfect and everything, but like I've mentioned, we don't exactly practice a lot. And I'm naturally clumsy, as I'm sure my family would love to tell you. (I regularly impress myself with my clumsiness.) It's just not pretty when I attempt surfing. (I'm really good at the lying-down-on-the-board-and-refusing-to-stand-up thing, but that's about it.) 



I suppose that shows how far stereotypes can go. Before I moved, I imagined that I'd turn into this really cool surfer girl (you know, the tanned ones with the long, wavy blonde hair who always have a bathing suit underneath their clothes and carry a surfboard around with them everywhere) within a few months. In reality, my hair is still a good three inches shorter than your average surfer girl (and it's gotten darker instead of more sun bleached and I do not have a tan because I would like to avoid getting skin cancer, thank you very much), I do not own a surfboard and I wear my school uniform a thousand times more than my bathing suit.  

And you know what? I'm ok with that. Somehow I feel more Australian in my school uniform with a Panama hat and my friends by my side than I would in a bathing suit with a surfboard. 

8 comments:

  1. Rainbow Magic Fairy1 December 2015 at 16:11

    Awesome Post!!! Very funny and I completely understand (some) of your struggles. Unlike you though I have surfboards, and yet i still can't stand up :) I am sure you will get better though!

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    1. Hahaha, thanks :) You're a lot better at surfing than I am, though! And you're very kind when you try to teach me :D

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  2. Lol! The struggle is real. I'm a surfer and it took me about 6 months to feel competent out there. And my hair is short and not blonde, so don't worry about it. Also, wearing a bathing suit under your clothes can be really uncomfortable. =)
    Anyway, loved reading this. You're cool without being a surfer. =)

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    1. Good for you for sticking with it for so long! That's super cool that you're a surfer. (You just ranked higher on my Respect-O-Meter (which is totally a thing.)) I don't know, it just looks so easy in the movies :) Thanks! I'd love to be able to surf, but I just don't think it's in my DNA...

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  3. I actually never knew that surfing was a big thing in Australia. I mean, I probably could have guessed that, but I don't tend to think about surfing because I am way scared of the ocean. So, props to you for even trying to surf because I can hardly get myself to swim in the shallow parts, much less out where you'd be surfing. :P

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    1. Well, where I live it isn't a huge thing but I'd imagine it's pretty big on the Gold Coast or Surfer's Paradise. That sucks that you're afraid of the ocean! I think I would be too but I have to just force myself to get out there. (And I do believe your faith in me is misplaced. I always make sure I can touch the bottom. I freak out whenever I can't :) )

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  4. Australians are weird... (I'm a new zealander btw. Or am I an Indian? confused person, maybe?) Last summer-no, winter, not that you could tell, we went to Sri Lanka (because it was cheap flights if we trained half the way there. Btw trained is a verb now). It was super warm and nice which made learning to surf a lot easier (compared to *cough* NZ...) and the waves were shallow. So I can surf but I've only done it a few times in a span of 2 weeks. It is super fun though. (But Australians don't have to surf) -weavingwaveswords.wordpress.com

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    1. That sounds awesome! It sounds like you had a great time and it's great that it was a little easier to surf in Sri Lanka. I've been in the ocean in NZ and it's super cold, not somewhere I'd want to spend my afternoon swimming. Thanks for commenting!

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