Sunday, 15 May 2016

Bonus Post: A note on Lord of the Rings and the impracticality of long hair in battle

Well, jabberwockies, I was watching The Two Towers with my sister the other day and I was once again amazed at all the long hair going on in that movie. You want proof? I've got proof. 


   
                

So yeah, basically everyone is getting a gift card to the hairdresser's this Christmas in Middle Earth. 

If you weren't aware, I've been taking jiu jitsu for about the past six months (I think I've mentioned it once or twice on my blog?) I also have long hair (it goes down to about my lower back) and as you can imagine, the two don't mix very well. I've tried every type of hairstyle out there, including buns, ponytails, braids, French braids, double French braids... But as soon as I start rolling (fighting), it all comes out and I can't see a thing. 

Luckily for me, we're not fighting to the death. (I would be dead several times over if that were the case.) We stop and I can fix my hair, then go again. For the poor guys in LOTR, they don't get a break. When you're fighting to keep the orcs out of Helms Deep, there isn't a halfway point where you all fix your gis and redo your hair and grab a drink of water. If you did that, you'd get a sword in your chest. (Something most people try to actively avoid.)

The thing with long hair is that it gets in your face and under your arms and in your mouth and it covers your eyes if it's not contained. Do you see containment in those pictures? I don't. The bottom line is that long hair is completely impractical in battle. However, it looks awesome on screen.

What's something impractical but cool that you've noticed in movies? 

12 comments:

  1. Haha, so true, but I never thought about that before. Also, I want to let you know that I tagged you in my last blog post. Have an awesome day and thanks for keeping up your awesome blog!

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    1. Thanks for tagging me, Susanna! I didn't know you did tags :) Thanks for commenting!

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  2. YES YES YES. I have hair about below my hips, and I've noticed people in LotR and Hobbit have absolutely no problem fighting with their hair loose and I can't even load the dishwasher without my hair GETTING EVERYWHERE. Not to mention how hot and sweaty my hair makes me when it's loose. It's impractical, but cool, I suppose.

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    1. It's terrible, isn't it? I would choke myself in my sleep if I wasn't careful. HOW DO YOU FIGHT A WAR WITH LOOSE HAIR? But yeah, it does look pretty cool on-screen. Thanks for commenting :)

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  3. I noticed this recently too! It's like all fantasy characters have long hair and they don't ever do anything with it during battle. It just spirals around them while they stabbin people and I'm sitting there thinking, "I would be dead and it would be my hair's fault." I have kind of wondered about the guys' beards too. I mean, doesn't it ever get stuck in things? Like a drawer or door? And they always riding through the woods at break neck speeds. What if they had to stop because their beard got tangled in some branches?

    I've tried a lot of different ways to put my hair up too. Bobby pins just get lost in my hair so they don't help much. But it will only stay up in a bun if I wet my hair down first or just took a shower and if I use small hair clips instead of bobby pins.

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    1. Goodness, yes. And what if it caught your eye while it was spiralling around everywhere? "Ow!!! Pause, just stop for a second! Hey buddy, can you look in my eye and see if the hair is still there?" At which point the orc would stab them. And I've never really thought specifically about the beards. I'd be getting my beard stuck in everything. How do you ever look in a drawer?

      No one knows the difficulty people with long hair have. Life is hard :/

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  4. The women fighting in heels?! I mean KUDOS FOR THEM that they can, but it can't be as comfortable as some sensible trainers, I'm just saying.

    Loved this.

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    1. DUDE I KNOW. I can't even walk straight in heels, let alone save the world. For that I need some sneakers or something. Thank you!

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  5. Gosh, I suppose I never really noticed!! Legolas looks perfect no matter what. ;)

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  6. I feel like excessive man-hair is a male fantasy world sort of thing. LOTR is like, the triumph of male fantasies, and bears and long hair that isn't tied back (as that would be girly, probably) is probably a sign of masculinity. In reality, though, that's why someone like Attila the Hun, I think, made his troops shave their heads because hair could be grabbed in battle and decapitated.

    Another equally impractical thing is when girls wear low cut outfits to battle in movies, but again... male fantasies...

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    1. I didn't even think of that. But hey, Thor ties his hair back (most days...)! He gets the practicable side of it. Good for Attila, though. He's got the right idea.

      URGH I HATE THAT. It makes zero real-life sense.

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Feel free to leave your thoughts and opinions! I'd love to hear from you. Please note that I reserve the right to delete comments that I think are hurtful.